NWFPAC ‘Michael Page’ Championship 2026 – Race 8: Haigh Woodland Parkrun

I’m a big fan of Richard Osman’s House of Games.  Avid watchers will know that the final round of each show is called "Answer Smash".  Richard always tries to create some tension in the final round, under the pretence that the game is still up for grabs and the winner is not certain.  However, when the usual pre-race email came out on Friday, giving us the line-up for the final race of the season, even Richard Osman would have struggled to create much in the way of jeopardy.

In the Individual Championship, the only person who could catch Aisha was Stephen Grice, and I understand he’s currently injured.  When he understandably didn’t confirm attendance, Aisha didn’t even need to run.  Maybe that, coupled with the early morning fog, explains her no-show?  Behind Aisha, Mike was guaranteed second and it appeared that Tom was nailed on for third (although Briony did close the gap considerably!).

In the Team Championship, Rantander have had the title sewn up for quite some time, but there could have been quite a tussle for the two remaining podium spots had all four teams been at full strength.  As it happened, the starting line-up confirmed that Emily would secure Athlete of Steel simply by turning up (with Briony waiting in the wings if she failed to!), and the only places still to be decided were second and third in the Team Championship.  It was me and Nicola versus Dave and Ben for the right to display silver plastic on our desks rather than bronze.

We held a narrow 12-point lead, but Ben’s score was going to count in full (as he hadn’t done five races).  The rest of us had five counting scores already, but we each had a low score that could be improved. Mine was a 9, Dave’s an 8 and Nicola’s, very handily, a 3!

Cue a Friday afternoon of spreadsheet-based panic...

If enough fast people turned up, Dave and Ben couldn’t get the points they needed. If fewer people turned up, Nicola would get a huge increase on her lowest counting score simply by finishing!

Obviously the natural pull of Wigan, and the thought of a post-race pie, meant that even with so little left to play for there were still an impressive 20 potential racers by Friday morning.

By Friday afternoon the confirmed dropouts reduced this to 18.  Aisha’s no-show dropped this to 17.

I’m not sure if Steven Hughes is a George Orwell aficionado, but maybe if he had read The Road to Wigan Pier, he wouldn’t have been in Botany Bay at five to nine (I assume Chorley rather than Sydney) trying to find the starting point of Haigh Hall parkrun.  16.

Fellow Wiganer Dan Williams is actually based in the town centre.  I can only assume he’d spent Friday night in the Moon Under Water because, despite having the shortest journey of anyone, he still turned up late, didn’t know where the start was and failed to complete the course.  15.

The rest of us (actually 14, as there was another unannounced dropout) lined up at the start, somewhere between the Dinosaur Golf and the back of Haigh Hall itself (venue for the Indian wedding scene in Brassic for those who don’t venture west from Manchester).

There’s a very tight starting chute to the run, so a good start is imperative.  Linford Christie used to go on the "b" of the bang.  Tom Grime didn’t wait for the b and punched a hole that I naively followed.  I’m not sure whether I was trying to turn the clock back a few years (a bit like Alan Ball used to tell everyone he’d won the World Cup, I may have mentioned once or twice that I did once win this parkrun), or whether I thought running a marathon seven days ago would be the ideal preparation for a hilly, muddy race, but after around 200 metres I’d settled into a group just behind Mike, Tom and Dan Harrison-Croft.  I thought, with good reason, this felt too fast for me.

The Haigh Hall route is almost entirely on trail and is roughly 2km gradual downhill, 1km meandering through the trees on slightly muddier trail, and then 2km back up the hill, which no longer feels that gradual.  The course is almost entirely in the woods, which plays havoc with GPS and means it always measures short on the watch.  If you know this, it can lead you to push too early, knowing you won’t be running a full 5km on your watch.

Most sensible people opted for trail shoes over carbons and were rewarded when the stretch through the trees proved particularly muddy.

1km down in 3:35, that is too fast.  But we’re into the steeper downhill now and, carrying a few more kilos than my race weight calculator would recommend, gravity was very much my friend on this section, so I may as well make the most of it.

Shortly after the first kilometre I lost sight of Mike, Tom and Dan.  I doubled down on the commitment to keep pushing (3:45 second kilometre), passed a couple more people on the way downhill and tried to make the most of the early speed by keeping the pace high through the trees, where I had a nice clear stretch of track.  This only meant two things.  I was too slow to catch anyone ahead of me, and there was undoubtedly a queue of people close behind.

And so it proved.

As we turned back up the hill (4:18 third kilometre), I started to go backwards as what felt like half the field came past me.

In the third and fourth kilometres the course kicks uphill steeply a couple of times, once before the canal bridge and again through the trees before we rejoin the original route for the final kilometre.

Everyone knows you can’t look round and give that show of weakness to anyone chasing you, but I feared Ben would be lurking somewhere nearby.  As I was hoping to get back to the shallower part of the hill, and concentrating on hurdling the railway tracks, Ben cruised up alongside me looking offensively fresh.

We were too far out for any real injection of pace yet.  I knew I’d have to wait until we reached the tennis courts before I could commit fully to the finish, but I tried to put in a little effort to respond.  Unfortunately, Ben had enough energy for a conversation and the elastic soon snapped.

As we reached the tennis courts, my focus switched from catching Ben to damage limitation.  I knew this race would be a strong point-scorer for the women, so I needed to stay close enough to Ben to minimise how many people could finish between us and push me further down the points board.

One guy passed me with 200 metres to go but at such a pace that I wasn’t too worried, as I knew he would pass Ben as well.  In hindsight, he’d either started too slowly or, like Dan Williams, hadn’t run the course at all, which might explain why he looked so fresh.

In truth, the gap to Ben felt bigger than the one second the timekeepers recorded, and I was never really close to catching him over the final 500 metres.  As I tried to kick on and keep him honest, however, it seemed only to inspire the runner behind me, who managed to pip me on the line to put one place between me and Ben.

Could that be crucial, especially with so many fast women in the race?

My crude calculations on Friday suggested that, as long as I stayed reasonably close to Ben and Nicola stayed reasonably close to Dave, the silver should be safe.

Luckily, I’m not superstitious.  Being handed token 13 on Halloween didn’t concern me in the slightest.

The first female finisher passed me at the start of the hill.  After a quick debrief with those who had already finished, all eyes turned to the finishing straight to see where Dave would be and how many female finishers there would be before and between our competitors.

Thankfully Briony and Megan were too fast to split me and Ben, so I only lost one point to him.  But all 15 of Ben’s points counted, whereas my 14 only improved my total by five points.  Our lead was now down to just two.

All eyes turned to the battle between Dave and Nicola.

Dave defied his well-documented ailments to produce a sterling sprint finish that ensured he remained a few seconds ahead of Barry Davies.

But where was Nicola?

Forced to run on feel (or was it fear?) after her watch died after 2km, she managed to finish just ahead of Josh on the track, which I thought was a pretty good sign she’d done enough.  She had pipped Dave by a place and, with that, secured the most hotly contested second-place finish in sporting history.

Big congratulations to Tom, taking the victory in a fantastic time on a testing course.  Also to Dan HC (2nd) for outsprinting Mike (3rd) in the battle for the other podium spots.

It was great to see Peter back running a strong time, and I expect both he and Megan to feature prominently in the team battle next season.  With Byron hopefully returning as well, it should be more competitive than ever.

As for me, I’m off in search of a good physio, several months of winter training and, ideally, a course with a bit more downhill.  It’s no fun spending most of a race on your own only to feel helpless as everyone streams past at the end.